Realizations
by mistyfur
Summary: Kathryn needs help to prove a theory and only Chakotay can help her with the experiment.


Disclaimers: Not Mine! Paramount owes them lock, stock and barrel.

* * *

"I'm telling you, Harry. Something big is going on," Tom insisted, waving his hands distractedly.

They sat in the Mess Hall eating Neelix's latest culinary attempt, something that he was trying to pass off as being macaroni and cheese, if it hadn't been for the addition of Neelix's special gourmet touch. The bitter taste of leloa root and the bright turquoise color that characterized the newest 'better than original' Neelix creation and the look of horror on everyone's face as they took their first tentative bite, brought a chuckle to those already unfortunate members of crew that had already tasted the latest masterpiece.

Harry looked down at his food, poking at it with his fork and shook his head at Tom's antics. The smallest thing done that was out of the norm and off went Voyager's resident Bookie and Hatchers of All Schemes J/C. Plots and counterplots created and discarded, all for the sake of a rumor that had just recently surfaced throughout the corridors of Voyager.

"Tom, the last time you pulled this stunt, you were assigned to work with the Doc for two weeks." Harry reminded him, trying to talk some sense into his insane friend.

Tom cringed as he remembered the endless hours in Sick Bay. The agony of having to spend an eternity; at least that what it had felt like, counting the rate that bacteria multiplied and grew. However, the pain didn't stop there, no the good old Doctor could give Cardassian's lessons in torture. It had taken all of Tom's control not to pull the vocal subroutines from his program. Tom had spent every hour, every minute, every single second of his shifts being serenaded to an endless selection of operatic arias by the Doctor. His hands twitched as he remembered the glee and amusement on the Doctor's face with each note that he hit. However, this time Tom knew that something was going on and if things worked out, maybe he could avoid punishment.

"Think about it, Harry. When was the last time that the Captain barricaded herself in her ready room all day refusing to talk to anyone?" Tom asked slyly.

"After the Equinox incident," Harry replied. "And?"

"Why did she hide herself away?"

Harry rolled his eyes at Tom and refused to answer his question.

"That's right, Harry. **_'The Fight'_**," Tom chortled gleefully, rubbing his hands together as he plotted.

"Tom, you need to see the Doc. You're imaging things again," Harry replied slowly, "And if you're not careful, you'll end up being a permanent fixture in Sick Bay."

"No, think about it," Tom continued stubbornly. "Every time they have a disagreement, Janeway locks herself away up on the bridge while Chakotay takes it out on some poor sap in the boxing ring."

"You're grasping at straws, Tom." Harry retorted. "Did you ever thing that maybe the Captain was busy running the ship, performing crew evaluations, course planning or meeting with department heads?"

"Really?" Tom questioned with an evil grin. "Computer locate Captain Janeway and state how long she been at that location."

Harry looked at him, eyes wide in disbelief as Tom called out his request. Great Tom had just made him an accessory to his insane scheme. If the Captain or the Commander found out, he'd be scrubbing the warp nacelles for the next year.

"Tom!"

"Do you want people hear us?" Tom murmured, smiling and winking at the Delaney sisters as they walked by.

"Captain Janeway has currently been in her ready room for ten hours." The computer's melodic voice answered.

"Computer, locate Commander Chakotay and state how long he's been there."

"Tom! They'll kill you if they find out that your tracking their movements around the ship," Harry hissed, looking around them nervously.

"Shh, Harry!" Tom ordered.

"Commander Chakotay is currently entering Turbolift 2."

"Previous location?'

"Holodeck one for approximately four hours."

"What program was in use?" Tom asked smugly, watching Harry squirm in his sit.

"Starfleet Academy Boxing Scenario Chakotay 1."

" I told you, Harry! Now all we have to do, is wait for the firecrackers to explode. What do you say 20 replicator rations that they'll finally get together? Come on it's not too late."

"Actually it is. We're late for Bridge duty." Harry cursed, rushing out of the mess hall.

"Shit!" Tom muttered, running after him.

* * *

They rushed onto the bridge and stopped as all eyes turned to look at their scruffy appearance.

"Mr. Paris and Mr. Kim, you currently ten minutes late for your duty shift," Tuvok called out.

"Sorry, sir. We lost track of time." They mumbled, rushing forward.

"Please make it up at the end of your shift."

"Yes, sir." They echoed.

Harry glared at Tom as they made their way to their stations.

A few minutes later, Commander Chakotay walked out of the turbolift. He looked casual around the bridge, before stopping at the Captain's empty seat. His jaw clenched slightly and his onyx eyes narrowed.

"Report, Mr. Tuvok."

"All systems are operating within normal parameters. Lt Torres has informed me that the warp diagnostic will be completed by 07:00 and that the report on her findings will be submitted to the Captain and yourself by 11:00."

"And the Captain?"

Tuvok raised an eyebrow at the question, "I'm unsure of what the exact nature of your question, Commander?"

"Has the Captain left any orders before going off duty?"

"Captain Janeway is currently still on duty, Commander." Tuvok replied.

"What? She had been on duty for the last twenty hours?" He muttered in disbelief.

He swiftly walked towards the tactical station. Ignoring everyone, they began to talk quietly, the volume to low for any one to overhear what was being said.

Tom's eyes widened in delight and he turned towards Harry and sent him a cocky smile. His blue eyes shone brightly in glee, here was more proof that something has being hidden from all of them. Now it was only a matter of time before he could find the right moment –

"Paris," Chakotay snapped, glaring darkly at the resident mischief-maker. He recognized the look on Paris's face and knew it didn't bode well for the command team.

"Sir," Tom replied, spinning around.

"Did our navigation station change directions since I went off shift yesterday?" Chakotay inquired.

"No, Sir," Tom quickly replied flushing under Chakotay's close scrutiny.

"Then why are you trying pilot the ship backwards."

'_Busted!'_

"Umm, I thought - , " Tom stammered.

"What did you think, Paris?" Chakotay asked, his voice dangerously low and menacing.

"Commander Chakotay, report to my ready room."

Chakotay tapped his comm badge, his eyes never leaving Tom's. "Aye, Captain. On my way."

Tom watched in relief as Chakotay walked away.

'Saved by the bell.' He exhaled deeply, thankful for the brief respite.

* * *

The door closed behind him with a soft hiss and Chakotay stopped after entering the room. Kathryn sat on the couch amid a multitude of padds and coffee cups. Her rich auburn hair, usually perfectly in place, was tousled and looked as if she had just risen from bed. He could hear her muttering under her breath as she compared the padds.

"Kathryn, how long have you been on duty," Chakotay inquired.

"On duty about nine hours, off duty for the last four hours," she replied, waving a distracted hand towards the sit beside her.

"You've been off duty for the last eleven hours, Kathryn." Chakotay corrected her.

"What? No, I haven't." Kathryn denied, rolling her eyes at him. " I think I would have noticed if I had been here that long."

"Computer, how long has Captain Janeway been in her Ready Room."

"Twenty hours, 4 minutes and 25 seconds."

"That long?" She asked shocked. "I started working on some of the reports and the day just flew by."

"You didn't mention that you would be doing crew elevation or starting a massive project." Chakotay said, looking into her tired eyes and noting her slightly hunched over shoulders.

"I'm working on something else," she replied, walking towards the replicator. "Coffee?"

"Please, the usual."

"Two sugars, right."

"Of course," Chakotay agreed, grinning as Kathryn shuddered at how he liked his coffee.

"How can you ruin a perfectly good cup of coffee by adding that much sugar?" Her mouth in a moue of disgust.

"Kathryn, your coffee is like shoe leather. Sugar is the only thing that makes it taste drinkable," he teased.

"No one forces you to drink it," she retorted, rolling her eyes at him before handing him the coffee and sitting down on the other end of the sofa. "Anything going on that I need to know about."

"I think you were too soft on Paris."

"Starfleet Captains are not soft," she replied sternly, cradling her mug. "We're terrifyingly evil and menacing."

"Well try being a little more menacing. Paris is up to his old tricks." Chakotay muttered. "I'm not surprised though."

"Oh?" She asked, taking a sip of the hot brew.

"Kathryn, you've locked yourself in here for how many hours?"

"And?"

"And, the only time you do that for a long length of time is when we have a disagreement," Chakotay replied, exasperated. "So this time, this is all your fault."

She burst out laughing at his peeved expression. "Chakotay, you're imaging things. I've worked long hours before and no one thinks anything of it, other than I'm working."

Chakotay snorted," Computer. In the last two hours, have there been any other requests about the captain's location other than my own."

"A request for both Captain Janeway's and Commander Chakotay's position was requested at 03:23 and at 03:24."

"Who requested this information?"

"Lieutenant Paris."

Kathryn glared at the door separating her from the soon to be dead pilot. "I thought with the his last stunt landing him in Sick Bay for two weeks, would have taught him to stop his scheming."

"Obviously, it hasn't," Chakotay retorted in disgust. " What have you been working on?"

"A new theory, it's been on my mind for quite some time now and I think I might be close to formulating an answer." Kathryn replied seriously, gazing intently at him before sweeping over his face and down his masculine body.

She watched his hands closely as the cradled the delicate cup. His fingers lightly swept along the rim of the cup in a meaningless pattern. Her breathing deepened as she imaged those hands gliding along her body, each soft touch having the power to bring her closer to the edge of a new experience between the two of them. She nearly groaned a loud as her eyes locked onto his lips, watching as his tongue slipped out to moist those delectable lips.

Chakotay pursed his lips in contemplation, looking out at the star field, "Anyway I could help with the testing of your theory? You know two heads are better than one."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her flush and began to shuffle the numerous padds laid down before her. The nervous gesture was so contrary to her usual calm demeanor that he turned to face her and met her panicked eyes. With a barely audible gasp, she glanced down at the active monitor.

"Kathryn, what is it?" Chakotay asked in a worried tone. "Whatever it is, we can get through this together."

A strangled sound came from her before she suppressed it.

"I'm fine, Chakotay. It's been a long day and I don't think that it's the right time to get into a long, time-consuming analyst on my theories. I'm sure that you have other things to attend to," she replied pleasantly, her voice husky. "Unless…"

Chakotay watched as she stood up and walked to stand in front of the window. His eyes loving traced the curves of her petite frame, capturing them in his mind. His lids lowered as he pictured taking her in his arms, unclasping her hair clip and running his fingers through her lush auburn locks, holding her still as he nibbled upon her lips. His tongue would trace the edges before sliding into the moist haven, ravenous to taste her.

"Chakotay?"

"…"

"Chakotay!"

With a start, he shook his head to dispel his thoughts and looked into Kathryn's perplexed eyes. 'Did she ask him something?' He wondered, struggling to pretend that he had been paying attention.

"Yes, Kathryn?"

"What do you think of my idea?" She looked at him eager for his response.

"Umm. Can you repeat it? I was lost in thought and missed the questions," Chakotay asked, shining a dimpled grin her way.

"I asked if you were serious about your offer," she muttered quietly, scooting closer beside him. "But if your not…"

"No, I'd be happy to help out," Chakotay replied, "Besides, you work way too hard. So, what do I have to do?"

He watched as she took a deep breath, almost to steady herself he thought. She took his cup and hers and placed it down on the table, wanting their hands free for the next few minutes. She stood and walked to stand in front of him. He looked up at her, worried at the tiny nit of fear in her eyes. He noticed her hands clenched at her side before she rested them hesitantly upon his shoulders. Holding his gaze, she pressed her lips tenderly to his.

Chakotay's mouth dropped open in shock at her gesture, barely registering the gentle kiss at first. After so many years of denying things between them, Kathryn Janeway had managed to punch her way through her self-imposed rules. He felt her start to pull away and it startled him. He tugged her to fall onto his lap, ignoring her tiny squeak of surprise. One hand slid to her waist while the other tangled in her hair. His lips taking control, demanding entrance and a denying her, her escape.

She returned his kiss ravenously, the years of pent up desire and exploding in this first profound kiss between them. Their mouths refused to part from each other, eager to explore the other and delve further into the passionate kiss.

Her low moans filled the room and spurred him on, each second becoming more heated than the last. Chakotay trailed kisses down and down her neck, stopping to nip at the tender flesh where her jaw met her neck. His hands reached up and pulled open her jacket, frantic hands tugged at the grey undershirt, needing to feel her warm flesh under his grasp.

"Chakotay," she pleaded, arching as she felt his touch on her abdomen before it leisurely slid up her tense stomach to cup a swollen breast. She panted and clutched him closer to her, protesting when she felt him pull away from her.

"Why?" Chakotay panted, struggling to regain his breath, his hand stilling his teasing caress but staying where it was. "Not that I mind but why after all these years of denying this thing between us."

"My mother." Kathryn replied, flushing.

"Go on," Chakotay urged, knowing there was more to this story.

"She told me I was a fool for throwing away my chance at love. She asked me if I was happy living my life on the edge of everyone else. Being an outsider, always standing at the side as I watch the crew find someone to be with, get married and start having a family. Didn't a small part of me ache for the same thing."

Chakotay watched her silently.

"I told her I had a duty to perform and I couldn't abandon it. My happiness or lack of it was my burden. She dragged me across the rug for thinking that the crew would demand that kind of devotion and she has all these endless logs from the crew demanding, hinting and urging that we get together. She told me to stop my damn excuses, stop acting like a martyr and stop hiding behind my silly fears. " Kathryn continued, shaking her head and a smile gracing her lips. "There's nothing like getting a lecture from twenty thousand light years away your mother to make one feel like a disobedient child."

"I would have loved to seen that." Chakotay murmured, picturing the scene clearly within his mind. "Kathryn, I know that you're afraid but how will are our being together hurt any less if something happens to one of us then if we are apart? If we love each, I think the hurt can be worse if we never explore what we could have between us. How can closing the door on this hurt any less?"

"I don't know. Chakotay, you know about Mark and Justin." Kathryn stated quietly. "If anything were to happen, I don't think I could go on this time. When I met you, I felt this connection to you that I've never felt before. I tried to deny it. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you, so I decided to ignore it, hoping that these feelings would go away."

"And did they?" Chakotay asked, tenderly gazing at her.

"No," she admitted ruefully. "If anything it grew. I had to fight every single day that we were on New Earth not to throw myself at you, especially after your declaration."

Chakotay chuckled at her expression, "I pulled the big guns on that one. I had tried everything but you just wouldn't budge. Everything I said that day, I meant and still mean. Kathryn, I want to be at your side forever. If anything were to happen, I know that you would still be the strong, confident captain. Inside you might be hurting and in pain but I know that our crew would gather around you and help you through on those dark days. Please, Kathryn, I'm tried for getting up every day only sit and work beside you while denying how deeply I care for you."

Kathryn brushed trembling fingers over his tattoo and along his cheek. "Chakotay, I'm tried of pretending. I loved you since the very beginning but I wasn't sure how to tell you after all this time. Hence the theory experiment."

"I love you to, Kathryn. Was the experiment a success?" Chakotay quipped, as his hand resuming its maddening stroking along her sensitive flesh.

"A smashing success," Kathryn purred huskily. "Only one thing would make it even better."

"Oh?" He replied, distractedly.

She winked at him and tapped her comm badge. "Janeway to Lieutenant Paris."

"Captain?" Paris voice answered immediately.

"Report to Sickbay from the next month of duty shifts." Kathryn ordered, her voice filled with satisfaction.

"But Captain-" Paris sputtered. "I didn't do anything!"

"Now, Mr. Paris."

"Aye, Ma'am."

His defeated sigh echoed through the commlink before cutting off abruptly.

"Kathryn, that was brilliant, evil and worthy of a Starfleet Captain." Chakotay murmured, nibbling her neck and his thumb teasing her erect flesh.

She arched further into is embrace and cradled him tightly against her. "Well, I am the Captain. I can't let just anyone get away with breaking the rules, now can I?"

"How about we break those rules together and really give them something to talk about?" Chakotay tempted, sucking lightly on a tender flesh as his hands worked magic along her

"Only if it's with you," she retorted, her voice sultry as she sent him a sassy wink. "Come here, Chakotay. I promise not to bite, unless you ask me to."

Chakotay pulled her close and smiled into her laughing blue eyes. "Kathryn?"

"Yes," she murmured, arching against him.

"Please."

With a soft growl, she playfully tickled him, her laughter joining his and echoing out to the happy bridge crew, including the unhappy figure of a Lt. on his way to the first shift in the sickbay hell.

The End


End file.
